Today my friend D came over and gave me a lesson in canning. I bought a whole canning set a month or two ago after watching an episode of Good Eats about making jam. I was all inspired because Alton made it look so easy and fun. Then I got out the book that came with my little set and felt suddenly overwhelmed and insecure. I watched the show again ( I DVR'd it) but still didn't feel up to the challenge.
At the park a couple weeks ago I was chatting with D and somehow canning came up. Turns out D is quite the accomplished pickle maker and maker of jams and jellies. We worked out a day that they could come over and even attempted to make it a kid learning thing vs something for my own self. We invited a couple of other families that had expressed an interest and then made all the arrangements.
It ended up being just us and that really worked out nicely. D bought a flat of strawberries at the local Farmers Market the day before and between the two of us we got all the supplies laid out on the counter.
D is a great teacher- she took the time to really explain things. Really the process was as easy and Alton made it seem on the show- but this was even better because D was able to share bits about her experiences and that of her family. We live in a strawberry growing area- lots and lots of them year round. They are more expensive this time of year and not always as sweet as the summer ones, but very good none the less. So now that I have a handle on this- I will never again buy a jar of jam off the shelf.
The kids were in and out in helping us. We were in and out in helping them. I can see how it would be something you could spend an entire day doing- especially with a few friends. There was a lot of time for us to just chat casually and get to know one another better. The beginings of a great friendship. There is just something warm and cozy about puttering about in a kitchen with friends and/or family. D is someone I can see getting to know well and speding lots of time with. Her husband is even a D& D geek like mine- so they would likely become friends easily. Unfortunatley they are moving to eastern Canada soon.
The are leaving for a simpler life, a farming life. It sounds lovely and beautiful and like a bit of a dream really. Though I love our life here and have no desire to change it, I can totally see the draw for them. I am sad though that we won't get too many more opportunities to spend time together like we did today. Maybe I can convince her to start blogging so that I will be able to live vicariously through her and get to see her kids grow up from here.
Once all was said and done we ended up with 6 pint sized jars ( I think) and 3 half pints. And it just dawned on me that I paid for half the strawberries and I ended up with all the jam. Dang I suck at math. I even kept several of her jars- ok gonna have to rectify that next week!
After they left we briefly considered going to park day- but honestly I was just too tired. I had my social fill with D and was aching to curl up with a book. I told the kids we might just go to the nearby park and they got giddy over that then the bickering and fighting started over who knows what and I called that off too. Mean mommy I know, but it's not as though they hadn't been playing allllllll morning.
It seems to me that they've been at one another more often lately and it makes me nuts to hear them fight over nothing, tattle about everything and never own up to any wrongdoings. After a bit of thought I decided that what they really needed was some quiet time. I used to do this when it was just Emma & Owen. I don't think I've ever done it with Evan.
I sent everyone off in different directions with the rules being that they could do anything quietly and alone. No computer no TV. Olivia fell asleep almost immediately.
Emma was as pleased as could be. She is quite happy to do her own thing and that is what she did. She played in her room, she colored at the table, she dug in the dirt, she sat on the swing. She sang to the birds, she looked at books. She was happy that she could just be. I didn't have to hear her yell "stop it" or "heeeeey" or "don't". She just played.
Owen did well the first 15 minutes or so. He went up to his room and built with the measly bit of legos that he has (Santa got a huge lot off ebay for him for Christmas). He made a great car/plane/climber thingy. He then wandered around downstairs for a bit. I gave him a few ideas of things he could do and meandered around debating his options. He asked how much longer quiet time was going to be. When could he talk to his brother and sister? I set the timer for 30 minutes at that point. So he went to the swings, played on the slide tried to talk to Evan a bit, till I redirected him and gave him a magazine to look at. I was standing near by looking at a catalog and he talked to me non stop for 2 minutes. I finally stopped him and explained that I really wanted him to try and focus on just him. Save what he wanted to share with me for another 10 minutes and just look and stop talking (for gosh sakes!!!). He sheepishly agreed again to try. He got up several times to look at the timer. When time was up he was just overjoyed.
Evan had the toughest time. He just didn't really get it and he didn't really know what to do. Mind you when it is on his terms he can play quietly and alone for a long time. He love to play with his action figures and cars. He just didn't like the restriction. Ultimately it was good for him I think. I offered to read to him but he declined. I spent most of the 45 minutes or so redirecting him or explaining what I mean by quiet time. LOL!
Over all it was very successful. It felt good too. Even though it wasn't really quiet for me, it was peaceful. There was no fighting . The thing is that the kids usually get along very well. They really love to play together. So this was almost like a punishment to them- I'm sure that is how they saw it. I think it was a much needed break though.
Owen and Evan especially have been playing in a way that they think they are being really funny, but in reality they are not so much crossing that fine gray line to being mean as they are tripping right over it and getting up and running with it. They just push and push and push with something until someone screams- in anger, in frustration, in pain. Then they try and say that they were just playing or joking or tricking. I am hoping to have some sort of revelation abut how to deal with that next. For now I am going to institute quiet time several times a week- if not daily for bit. At the very least it gives me a few minutes of peace. hopefully it will give them a better appreciation for the time they spend together and also give them (the boys) the confidence and security that playing alone is ok- and even fun. Emma sure thinks so.