Over the years we have tried a variety of ways to handle chores & allowances. I have read and researched a number of different theories and philosophies and as the kids have grown and changed so have we.
Originally and for most of their lives, I have felt that chores were something expected and required as part of being in this family. I never assigned specifics chores, just expected help when asked. I had read various reasons as to why this is a good route, and at the time it made sense. Well, I did try a few different chore charts off and on over the years, but they never seemed to stick. I went with the philosophy that the kids were part of this "team" we call family and we all have to put in the effort as needed, when asked. I also wanted to teach them money management so I wanted to give them an allowance.
How much to pay was something I also had to research and figure out. Most recommendations I came across said $1 for every year old they are per week. $7 for the 7 year old etc. This seemed do able and reasonable...when they were all under 10. I do regret not capping them at $10 or so. With 4 kids it adds up fast!! Another aspect of that was actually having the money in hand to pay them. As a stay at home mom, regular trips to the bank are just not in my weekly schedule. At one point I found a "virtual" bank called Three Jars. It is a great concept and sort of worked well for us, for a while, however we soon realized that if there was a run on the bank, we might not be able to hold up our end of the deal! They did access the account online often & all knew how to see how much they had in their "spend" jar.
Overall there was a sense of dissatisfaction with the whole thing. While the kids did what they were asked, more often than not it was mom and dad who were doing the bulk of the work. Then a few months ago we were at a social gathering and had the opportunity to chat with a friend's mom who happens to be a financial advisor. She had recently given a talk to parents about this very topic, and had put quite a bit of research into the whole thing. I hope to go to her next talk, and told her as much, but we did pick her brain a bit while we had the opportunity. The biggest take home message for us was the importance of assigning value to their chore. Teach them the relationship between work and money. Pay them in cash, make it real.
Damn. This meant we had to rethink everything. We told the kids we were going to suspend the three jars account. We also let them know that we would honor what we owe them, but that we would need to do it over the next year since their combined savings alone was nearly $600 and the combined spending was around $300. (Can you see the fear we had if they all needed/wanted their money at once!!?)
I then started researching different methods again. I came across a family that seemed to have a good thing going. (I will link to if I can find it again). I have to say I was pretty inspired. I didn't buy their system, but I did take some of their ideas. I spent the next few weeks sketching out some ideas and trying things out. Once I had a workable plan I let the kids know that changes were a'comin. I went to Target and bought a $15 cash lock box. I then calculated how much money I would need to pay the kids for one month, if they earned their entire "paycheck". I rounded up and took out $200 (YIKES). I got various bills and quarters. I had decided that at the beginning I would round up to the nearest quarter.
Next I wrote out our chart on an old dry erase wall chart thingy (pretty sure that is the official name of it).
Throughout the week I would mark their chart with either a green mark or a red one. Red meant I had to do their job. The first week I was pretty brutal. I would mention to them in the morning that they needed to check their charts and do what needed to be done, but that was it, after that I would do jobs as needed in order for me to do my own chores. I always made sure they knew I was earning their money! I also dinged them for bad attitudes. Mind you, I had to be somewhat selective on those battles, because at the end of the week they could end up owing ME money if I counted every single eye roll or sassy word. However I did call them out enough on the really sassy or rude stuff. If you look at the picture you might notice the red A's by their names.
How it all works (for now, I see the need for some tweaking already)
Basically it is a point system. Each kid is assigned chores for the week. Some are daily (recycle, laundry, dog poop) some not so much (trash, dinner helper). Some are really easy and even enjoyable (dinner helper), some are noone's favorite (dog poop), others are just things that need to be done (empty dishwasher, bring laundry downstairs). Finally I also added in school accountability. They all are doing an online math program, they are all in a shakespeare class, they are in religious education and they all take piano. Now, some might disagree with this aspect, but this is part of how they get paid. They have to log into math at least 5 days, they must also do some other form of school 5 days. (As an aside, we are a very relaxed, unschoolish homeschool family, requiring them to do this stuff is very new to us all). They must also practice piano at least 6 days.
This last week I cut them some slack on the school stuff since they were all sick and really not able to do much for a few days. Using Emma as an example I'll explain the next bit. She had 5 chores plus school, math & piano. As you can see she did all of her chores. She did not get on piano however and she didn't do any school outside of math, which she did do 3 days worth. She also copped an attitude with me on at least 3 occasions (this girl could owe me major money if I marked her for every single sass!!)
I add up all the green or red marks (not the attitude marks). She ended up with 18 "tasks". However she didn't do 6 of them (piano & school) so she will only get paid for 12 of them. But wait! she also copped an attitude! Minus another 3! She just turned 13, so she should get $13. Before we do anything I have them put at least 10% into a savings envelope that stays in the cash box. Eventualy we will take it into the bank and start a real long term savings account for them.
We round up so Emma puts $2.00 ) in each week (in this case we rounded to the higher whole dollar). We just set the money on top of the envelope to start, so that should they want to add in more at the end of the meeting they can. Then I put out the money and show them what 100% of their take home looks like. We then calulate what percentage they actually get. First I show them how much they would get based on tasks alone. In this example, Emma would have gotten about 67% or $7.37, currently we are rounding up (this will change and become exact, I just filled the cash box with pennies dimes and nickles) so I show her $7.50 that would have gone in her wallet. However, I point out the attitude dings and we then recalucluate. This brings her to 50% or $5.50. At this point they can put more into their long term savings envelope or they keep it all to spend. During all this it has been interesting to hear all the discussion that comes up. It is usually money related, though it isn't always. This has created an opportunity for the kids to have my undivided attention, a rare opportunity in a family with 4 kids!
One change I am going to put into place soon, maybe this week, is the inclusion of a "short term savings" envelope that stays inthe cash box. I am currently thinking I may switch up the % of long term to 15% and then have them put another 15% into short term. They would have access to the short term, but not immediate. They can have a specific goal in place or none what so ever, but the money would be building up for when that irresistable item presents itself, but costs more than what they have in their wallet.
Well, that is it in a nutshell. Being in week four, I am really happy with it. There are small changes that will happen. I imagine it will be ever changing in small ways to accomadate the needs of our family as they change. As you can see I made the chart pretty and ditched the old dry erase wall chart thingy. I just used a frame we had in the closet that was lacking a photo. The chores are listed on bookmark tabs that are made by Post-it, so they will be easy to remove and change as needed. I use a sharpie to write on the glass. It is better than dry erase because it doesn't smudge or easily wipe, however with a little elbow grease or a magic eraser, it comes off easily enough.
The kids are really aware for the most part and have not needed much reminding. Some are more aware than others, but I'm finding that as one kids goes to the chart, checks what they are supposed to and announces loudly (to be sure I know they are doing it) what they are doing, others follow suit. The chain reaction of responsiblity is very cool.
Oh, I should mention the red F's you might have noticed by the boys names. They had been fighting rediculously this week, so I instistituted a "fighting" ding. Another constant battle in our house is a quiet bedtime. I may wait another few weeks to add that one in, but I am and have been very weary of the nightly interuptions of Downton Abbey because they are dancing a jig above our heads.
I'd love to hear how other's handle the whole production of chores & allowance. Especially families that have 3 or more kids. I am open to ideas, suggestions and questions. Harsh criticism, not so much. ;-)
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