M+B=E2O2

This is the cold

that never ends. it just goes on and on my friend.  one day I started sniffling not knowing what it was, then continued sniffling and coughing just because, this is the cold that never ends.....

Hard

A while back I had asked for some extra prayers for my Uncle.  I really didn't feel ready or able to actually blog about why.  He died yesterday.  What I couldn't or didn't want to write about  was that he was diagnosed with mesotheilioma .  The prognosis for that is never good.  This is the 2nd person I've known to get this.  I couldn't write that I knew he would die.  I hate to write that he did. 

When I was in college I decided that I wanted to go on an exchange.  I didn't really want to go to another country, but I had heard from a friend that you could do a national exchange.  I looked into the program and decided that was what I wanted to do.  I picked Colorado.  I wanted to live somewhere where it snowed.  Where there were four real seasons.  I also wanted to ski.  At first I choose Colorado State in Fort Collins.  The counselor commented how similar it was to Chico in it's student population etc and it got me thinking.  He mentioned another Colorado State College called Western State College of Colorado.  It was in the small town of Gunnison, 30 miles or so from Crested Butte.  The student population was around 2500.   I was sold.  I left in early January and lived there for a year.  I came home to Cali for the summer months.  I loved it there.  One of the best things about the whole thing was that my Auntie Peg and Uncle Jacque lived just 3 hours over the hill (a mere 10k peak ha!) in Colorado Springs.  I spent most holidays and vacations with them and their 2 boys.  I loved looking at Uncle Jacques amazing artwork.  The man was a brilliant painter.  At the time he was building a model train thing.  It was amazing.  He built every mountain,every tree. Every detail meticulously thought out. I think he got it about half done by the time they got their next assignment and moved to Turkey.  Uncle Jacque loved to read like I love to read.  When I stayed with them I loved to pick through his vast library of books and just bury myself.  I have a painting he did for me when I was a baby.  I have always treasured it.  It has been in every house that I have called home. 

In the 8th grade I got to spend a week with them when they lived in Alaska.  That too was a magical time.  They always made a point to try and visit us if they were able.  Being a military family, you just never knew where they'd end up.  They lived in Alaska twice, Colorado, I believe they also did two turns in Turkey.  They retired in Virginia.  Though he retired he continued his work for the government as a civilian.  He was young. Too young. His boys are young men.  One has finished college, one is in college.  He'll never be a grandpa.  It breaks my heart.  I loved him dearly.  It saddens me to no end that the last time I saw him was YEARS ago.   My mom is leaving tomorrow to be with all the sisters.  Auntie Peg is the youngest of 6 girls.  I've written Auntie Peg a letter, I've sent  a little care package. I so badly want to be able to do more. 

He can read

I just wanted to take a quick minute to boast a bit of unschooling success.  We do very little structured learning around here.  Lots of reading, playing and interacting, but no real curriculum on any sort of regular basis.  I've especially not pushed reading.  Last night I was reading an ABC book to Evan, Ben has been concerned that he knows is letters verbally but doesn't recognize them.  I haven't been concerned, but since we both need to feel comfortable in this journey I made a point to help Evan with letter recognition.  As we sat looking at the book and reading, Owen would join in and read words that I had no idea he knew.  Next we read a level 2 reader.  He's never read a level 1, and I couldn't find one on his shelf (I know we have some though).  We were able to take turns reading each page.  He could easily read 70-80% of the words with out help.  I don't think he even knew he could read as much.  He proclaimed in the middle of the book "This is so much fun!!!"  How cool is that.   

In other learning news both Evan and Emma are making progress in our piano lessons.  They are roughly at the same level and both having fun with it.  It is definitely more of a struggle for Emma, but she is very determined to move forward.  Slow and steady is her pace in life though so I'm not worried.  As long as she is content with her pace and wants to continue, we will.  I was beginning to wonder if she'd ever get  the first note of the first variation of "twinkle twinkle little star". She has shown me that she can and does get it,  now we are working on consistently being able to reproduce that bit using each of her fingers on her right hand.  Once we get there we'll move forward in the actual song.  Evan is doing the same thing, but with him we are working on him playing with a bit more, um, gentleness.  He goes at the piano like he does all else- with HUGE energy.  That translates to banging out the notes!  He too is working on that first bit ("Mississippi Hop Frog" -playing a note for each syllable) on each of his fingers- gently.  I think he will soon be ready to move on to the actual song soon.  Olivia knows how to sit at rest and bring her hand up to "ready" she will also play a single or doulbe note, every so often she has even done "Mississippi Hop Frog" but that has been very occasional.  Owen is flying.  Our teacher said that our biggest challenge will be to slow him down.   He is roughly two songs behind me in the book.  One and a half after this mornings practice.  He is doing so well and learns so fast!  I only have to play a section/line for him a few times and he will pretty much nail it.  If it weren't for the fact that we will be out of the house most of today I'd bet that he'd have "Lightly Row" down pat by days end.  Since we'll be gone and he won't have all day to go back and forth piddling on it I'm gonna put my money on tomorrow afternoon.  It is fun to watch him  learn and play,  I'll have to grab his MP3 player and upload one of the recordings he made of himself with it.  Very cute. 

Ok Well, I'd love to write some more, but I have to get me some breakfast and then get our crowd ready to head out for the day.  We are going to a symphony performance for kids.   After that we are going to head out to our regular park day.  I'm hoping the winds don't kick back up- they were blowing upwards of 40 -50 mph last night- news reports saying gust of 60.  It's supposed to be blowing around 20-30 mph today.... we'll see.  The park we go to is in the foothills which tends to be a bit more windy. 

*creeping in* to say.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA PIE!!!!!

My baby girl is now a big 8 year old girl!!

It is still so close in my memory that I was living in that small apartment back in Philly (ahh the good old day eh Timmy & Laurie!!) packing my bag for the hospital while my sister and Ben watched a ball room dance competition on  TV.  I was packing because I was nearly 37 weeks preggers and thought that I should get around to it.  As I was going about my business I was noticing my contractions but still blissfully unaware that in a mere3 1/12  hours they would intensify beyond belief and that in 7 hours she'd be here.  I clearly remember at 9:30 pm having a intense desire to clean the bathtub- I mean I scrubbed it like never before.  I remember 12:45 sitting in bed with Ben, writing down the timing of the contractions.  They were consistently 4-6 minutes apart and sorta uncomfy but not too bad.  We decided to call the Dr. on call and he was very casual- "well why don't you go ahead and come in- this is your first? 37 weeks? No harm in a trial run... come on in".

Laughing and joking about a late night trial run, we all piled into our wee little Honda civic.  It had snowed in the days before so at 1:30 am Philadelphia was peaceful, beautifully covered in a blanket of white.  The drive to the hospital took about 20 minutes.  I enjoyed the first 10.  All of a sudden, the laughing and joking was very irritating.  The pain was much more intense and I was not too happy.  Once setteled in to the OB triage area- contractions still 4-6 apart but much more painfully so the nurse had a looksee.  I was 4 cm.  I was staying there.  Needless to say we were all a bit shocked.  Knowing what I know now, knowing what I am capable of, I would make much different choices than I did.  I would have walked, I would have not laid in that bed- but I didn't know and I did what I thought I should and needed to do.  By 3 am I couldn't deal  with the pain any longer.  It had been more than I had ever felt in my life for the last hour and a half- I let them give me meds.  First demorol- which as it turns out makes me puke.  all in all didn't help.  Fearing the pain more now than my fear of the epidural I went with the epi.  The anesthesiologist arrived after about a half hour- he came on his motorcycle and still had on his black leather jacket when he breezed in.
  The epi brought a lot of relief, I was able to sleep a bit.  It slowed things down considerably (again- now know that had I toughed it out a bit longer and gotten my butt out of bed she'd have arrived much sooner in all likelihood).  By 7:30 I was contracting strongly again (I think they gave me petocin, don't know for sure though)  Problem was that Emma didn't want to come out.  due to the fact that I was nearly flat on my back (slightly  head up, but not nearly enough).  He did  do a thing deal (why can't I think of the name???) where they give you a little cut-  that helped a little but not enough.  In the end a second doctor came in and stood on a stool or a chair or something and pushed down on my belly to "help" Emma out.  I guess it worked because out she came.

It was 2 days until we knew she had a bit of something extra.  It didn't matter though- she was perfect.

She still is.  She has touched the lives of many in her 8 years.  When she was 2 months old Ben's Grandfather was very sick. We flew home.  He was waiting to see his great granddaughter.  He held her in his hospital bed and smiled and loved her.  Later that night he made his way to be with God.

She was able to go to my grandmother's 85th birthday when she was 5 months old.  That too was very special.  Nana died 2 years later, but that was among one of our last visits with her.

I can not tell you how many people that we have met or been around that just feel connected to her. "There's just something about her" is what they say to me. 

There sure is.

Happy Birthday girl.  I love you and all the joy you bring to our family.

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....I've much to say on other bits of our life right now,but this is Emma's post.