M+B=E2O2

My addictions

Dope Dealin Rhyme Steal'n

I confess I have another addiction besides my spin class.  (I didn't go Friday either- grrrrrr- freaking sick kids - but I did go today).  So here is my confession-

Dope Wars-  I have been playing that game nearly every night before going to bed or when I am putting Miss Livi Lou to bed. (On my PDA, my version only has the drugs listed below and is slightly different that the one I linked, but you get the idea). I have all but one of the top 5 scores.  I know that if Heroin is around 5 or 6k it is in my best interest to buy it- cocaine, I try to get at  15k,  I rarely mess with ecstasy.  Weed is a good buy at 300, even better if the prices bottom out for some reason and I can get it for $170.   I try to get my acid for less than 2k and the same goes for pcp.  speed is  worth while especially when it goes for less than $100-  prices jump to 2-3 times that  often. I don't mess with shrooms very often, the prices don't change much.  But really the only way to retire in the Caribbean is to be sure and pay off my loan shark, visit the Bronx to get to the bank when ever I have at least 10k to put in savings and buy as much heroin and cocaine as I can over the 30 day period,hoping that the prices skyrocket at some point.   Sad and embarrassing to admit my vast knowledge of the game, but I can't help it.  At least my kids will never know it is me- if they come across it and read the high scores they will think that mommy hangs out with people like "2ruDat", "hiRoLLin", "mamaC" and "whatup". 

Sailing Take Me Away (la la la)

Ben and I went sailing today!  It was such fun.  Longtime friends of mine had invited us quite a while back and we finally worked it out to go.  We are really hoping to join the yacht club soon, if for no other reason than the bar!! No really, aside from great prices on booze, they have a fabulous Juniors program that I would love to get the kids involved in.  There are tons of kids that belong to the club and it will be a great place for them to play with other kids in a safe and controlled  area.   But the booze is a definite plus too!  I also have  many friends from days long ago that are all members there, so we would have much help in learning to sail and navigate the channel. 

We went out a mile or so, Ben got to take the helm for much of the time.  A necessary thing since he can get motion sick.  We had great wind and he really got a good feel for it.  As the wind died down a bit and we could feel the movement of the swells, it was time to turn for the harbor .  While out we had fantastic sandwiches, yummy chips and great conversation.  The wind was cool enough to warrant a sweatshirt but shorts were fine.  There were a few sea lions on the buoy and brown pelicans diving for their lunch.  I had hoped we might see a dolphin or two, but they were not turning up.  All and all it was fabulous, my first time back on a bout in over 10 years, it was like going home. 

Ben is an amazing guy.  This was a huge thing for him to do. He must really love me.  His first and last time on a sail boat was also over 10 years ago, '93 to be exact.  His friend's uncle needed to transport his boat from North Carolina to Bermuda.  He thought it would be a great once in a life time thing to do- so what the heck, he made the changes in his flight plan home (to Cali) and hopped aboard.   The captain had checked the weather, but neglected to tell the boys that it was looking rough.  You see his daughter was getting married and he really wanted to get the boat to Bermuda for her to use.   They spent 4 days wondering if they would make it.  The engine went out, all the instruments stopped working, they had but a compass to steer by.  The auto pilot didn't work so they each took shifts hooked onto the boat, full foul weather gear on, doing their best to hold the course.  As the sun set the lighting storms started.  They could see the crackles of light in the sky and strikes happening all around.  The swells were upwards of 30 feet.  Ben was afraid to sleep because he did not want to miss his death and his last moments to live.  He later found out that each of the others was feeling the same thing- including the very seasoned captain.  When they finally arrived in Bermuda, Ben got off the boat and kissed the ground.  He told his friend he had something to go do- his friend said "go to church?" to which Ben said "yes".  They both went to Mass.  After Mass was over they went  and they got totally drunk.

This experience though changed the course of Ben's life.  At the time he was vacillating between physical therapy school and medical school.  While wondering if he was going to live, he promised himself and God that he would go to medical school.  He would take the leap, for he found that he had nothing to lose by trying  but everything to gain.

So today was big.  Huge.  And he did it.  Not only that, but he liked it.  But you know what.  If he didn't like it, that would have been ok too.  I'd give up having my sailboat for him in a heartbeat.  He is one amazing guy for sure. 

Spinning along

You know every time I start to get in a workout roll- my kids get sick.  This happened again, Evan is actually on antibiotics due to his persistent cough that is, well, persistent! So in the last 2 weeks my gym going has whittled down to 2x/week instead of 3-4.  Now Evans cough is starting to lessen, but Owen's is just getting into gear.  I hate this!  I took them all yesterday, bad bad mommy I know. but I was being totally selfish and really truly needed my "me" time.  I doped up the kids who needed it with cough suppressant and  hoped for the best.  No one called me out or said anything so I think they sat quietly watching the movie.  Whew.  That said, I am not going to risk a reprimand today so here I am, not spinning.  Class starts in half an hour.  And I am NOT going, I'm not.  I swear.  But I really want to.  Bun no, I will do right by my fellow gym goers and stay home with my coughing kids.  And Olivia's newly runny nose.  *sigh*

Yesterday when I did go I have to say that I rocked the house.  Yep I am too cool for school.  Why?  Well as I was leaving the house I noticed that Ben had left his ipod. I grabbed it thinking maybe I'd even lift weights after class or something.  Once there I learned that class was canceled.   Yay for the ipod.  I got on one of the bikes, clipped in and started to rock.  I spun my butt off for 55 minutes.  I even dripped sweat on the floor- I never do that in class- try as I might I just don't do it.  OK, well it was only one single drip, but still I did it.  For the rest of the day my legs were soft and weak.  going upstairs took lots of effort.   I am so cool. 

Except today there will be nothing.  Not a spin to be found.  wahhhhhhh!  I am so addicted.  Not a bad thing, but makes it frustrating that I can't go.  If I could I would go 4-6 days a week.  really I would.  I so totally recommend spinning. 

Maria- thanks for the kudos on the wight loss-  small victories are still victories, so while I would love to have seen the numbers lower, at least they are not higher. 

Jenny, you have given me hope that my future is not so grim with my explosive little man.  Remind me every once in a while will ya.  I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, not even a flicker. 

Yeah- I am glad I homeschool

The New First Grade: Too Much Too Soon?

Kids as young as 6 are tested, and tested again, to ensure they're making sufficient progress. Then there's homework, more workbooks and tutoring.

A little about Evan

I've been wanting to talk about my ball of fire for a while now.  He is such an amazing kid.  He is also the reason we just knew we were not really wanting a 4th and the reason that I talked to my belly for 9 months saying  "you will be an angel baby, you will be sweet and quiet and smile all the time- YOU WILL."  Thank God Olivia listened! 

There are times quite often that I am truly at a loss with Evan.  He gets sooooo angry at things.  Little things, big things, whatever.  And by angry, I mean really ANGRY.  He will yell his wants at the top, and I mean tippy top, of his lungs, while kicking or hitting whatever is nearby, myself included. What boggles my mind is that he has the very same intense reaction to things that are just not worth all that energy.  And this is a daily event- multiple times a day he gets MAD.  Right now I am big enough and strong enough that if I need to I can physically remove him from what ever the situation is and put him in his room (where he then hurls things at the door).  often I try to remain very calm and matter of fact with him.  It seems as though any other strong emotions (anger, frustration, sympathy) just piss him off more.  So I remind him to breath deeply, (to which he screams "NO I DON"T WANT TO").  Occasionally he complies and will ** "blow out" my fingers. 

** I hold up my hand and he takes a big breath and "blows out" each of my fingers one at a time, then blows them back in place.

If he does comply he usually calms down quickly and will say "sorry mommy" right away.  However if he then realizes that he is still not going to get his way in what ever has set him off, he may melt back down again. 

This is the same kid who gets the biggest grin (and it is heart-melting I swear!) at the simplest things in life.  A shiny ball, magic tricks - like making a coin disappear, seeing an airplane, train or big truck.  This is the kid who still freaks me out with his verbal skills, phenomenal memory and athletic ability.  His articulation is often much better than Emma's and occasionally better than Owen's.  He can make sounds that are not listed for his age range.  (And I know this and have all this info because the first two didn't even begin to talk until they were the age he is now - OK well Owen started really having a single word at a time vocab around 2, but Emma not until after 3).   His memory- get this.  We visited with my friend at her mom's house on a Sunday.  My friend Tammy told him that when we came up on Thursday, we would go to watch Kayla play volley ball, then watch Tyler play football, then we would go back to Tammy's house and eat pizza.   For the next 4 days he told me exactly what we'd be doing.  Now that may not seem so terribly impressive, but here's the thing.  He really had never even met Kayla an Tyler,  He saw Kayla briefly on that Sunday, but Tyler was in a back room playing video games so he had NO mental picture of these people and he had no idea what volley ball even was.  And this kid, who turned two in April mind you, remembered all that.  I'm lucky if I remember what day it is. I won't even go into sports except to say that he may be the kid that ends up in a traditional high school setting just so he can play sports.  Have you ever known a two year old to sit and watch 7 & 8th grade girls play volley ball- and by sit, I mean he marched right up those bleachers and sat down and did not take his eyes off the game- for 30+- minutes!

The kid makes up 1/4 of the child population in this house but honest to God he takes up 3/4 of my patience and energy.  Here's a recent episode of his behavior and how I dealt with it. 

We go to the mall to get two things-  vacuum bags and converse high tops (black of course) for Owen.  Once that was accomplished the plan was to get something to eat and play in the indoor  play area.  We had a lot of ash on this day from the Day fire so I wanted the kids inside.  We make it though Sears with little to no problems.  Well, when I was paying for the bags, he insisted that we need a socket wrench kit and did not care at all that I told him we didn't because we had TWO at home.  he didn't even know what  it was.  He just wanted it and was extremely insistent.  The cashier was kind and commented on his potential for leadership- I commented that I hoped his power would be used for good and not evil.  *sigh* so we we go down to the Kid's Foot Locker and got Owen some shoes.  again, no problems.  Until we were getting ready to pay and Evan has decided to take off his shoes, and try on all sorts of others.  I told him that he was not getting any shoes (and besides those were all too big!) an he runs about 10 feet away, screams NO and hucks the shoe at me.  Um I was not very happy, and a bit embarrassed.  I get the shoes back in place pay the guy and apologize and tell Evan that we are leaving - the mall, NOW.   Sorry Emma sorry Owen but there is no way Evan can behave like that and then get to have a corn dog and play. Nope.  Well that sends Owen off in to a tissy. he stomps his newly converse clad feet at me and starts to cry.  (please somebody feel just  tiny bit sorry for me here!) I get everyone to the car and realize that Emma , though not happy, did not fuss a bit and merely groaned but went along to the car sans tantrum.   In the car Owen proceeds to kick the back of the seat- so now I tell him that if it happens again, I will be removing the shoes at home and putting them away until the next day, whaddaya think? did he kick it again? of course he did.  Now I am getting mad so I told him that I reckoned he had kicked and stomped at me at least 10-15 times, and that for each he would be spending 5 minutes up in his room, but that I'd knock it down to 5 stomps  and go from there- course he can't do multiplications so I did it for him- 25 minutes in his room before lunch.  harsh maybe  I know- but he took Evans tantrum and ran with it.  As we were driving home I had a thought.  I praised Emma on her good attitude, recognizing that I knew she wanted to play at the mall and eat lunch there, and how proud I was of her.  I then asked her if she would like a hamburger.  Yes I took my sweet girl to Carl's  Jr. and got her a burger.  Owen kicked himself another 5 minutes in the drive thru.  Both boys insisted that they were going to get a kids meal too- funny how being in the back a a suburban prevents their order from being taken!  Once home Owen knew I was all business and took his shoes off with out fight, went upstairs and changed his 'tude.  Evan feel asleep in the car, but when he woke was not too bad. 

Raise your hand if you kid has ever thrown a shoe at you in the store.  yeesh.

The next day he had another tantrum that again prevented the rest of us from doing something ( I can't remember what)  and Owen lost it again.  Emma maintained composer again and go her some praise!  She was too cute, she then started singing in the car (with Owen covering his ears and grumbling)

"Mommy is so proud of me, I love Gammy and Gampy and Paublo too, and Grandma and Poppa.  They are soooooo beautiful and handsome and shiny"  (the tune was - well did you ever see Monster's Inc and hear Boo singing on the potty?- something like that- very  very cute!)

Evan-   a leader in the making, full of love, hugs and sweetness- hottest, quickest temper on a two year old I have ever seen.  Most every one who has been around him- even if just for a few minutes, comments on him.  "that kid- he's something isn't he? "  "He's got that look in his eyes, does he keep you on your toes?"  "hey, what do you call that kid?  I like him, there is something about him!"

**SIGH**

Updates galore

I have so many things to update! 

Orugas!

Let's see, well, we have 3 different types of caterpillar thingys  that are all in their morphing state.  It is pretty cool because They each have a different type of cocoon or chrysalis.  I am hoping the they are still all alive in there, and not just hanging around rotting! I think I read it takes a few weeks to change so we are giving  it that much time at least.  The newsest one left its caterpillar coat behind and is doing its thing on the floor of the casa.

Harvest!

We were able to harvest enough green beans for us all to have a small serving and we had enough corn for the kids to each have an ear.  The corn grew large kernels, but they were very short ears.  It was very tasty though!!  So cool to grow stuff! Our tomatoes are getting huge, but have remained green and hard.  We finally had one turning a nice share of re in the last few days.  I went in the garden to take a closer look at it and when I touched it it fell from the vine.  There was a very pretty red and brown Caterpillar eating it away.  bummer.  We left the caterpillar in it and dropped it in the compost.  I hope the  rest don't meet the same fate.  While trying to look at the rest of the tomatoes, I spotted the HUGEST caterpillar I have ever seen.  Upon investigation we found out it is a Tomato Hornworm.  Not good for the tomatoes, but amazingly huge and I don't have the heart to destroy it.  If it means less tomatoes for us- so be it. 

It's working! 3 down- 27 to go!

I have officially lost 3 lbs! Not a lot I know, but it is a start, and considering that my only change is exercise, not diet, I am happy.  I'm sure if I curbed my carbs a bit and quit snacking on goldfish and pretzels I might have even more success, but I am content to have a slow go of it for now ! I love love love the spinning class-  I really feel better in terms of cardio. 

Mad Science

The kids start their mad science class tomorrow.  After it is over there will be a history/geography club  at the same house.  I am hoping that it all is very cool and makes the drive worth while.  We have to go about 30 minutes away.   The kids are really excited to go and I am looking forward to meeting more local homeschoolers. 

Away we go

Thursday we are going up north to visit a good friend of mind from high school and her family.  She too has 4 kids, same age differences as mine, but she had a big head start so her youngest is the same age as my oldest.  It should be fun, her oldest is in high school and on the football team so we are going to watch one of his games.  Her second oldest is in 8th grade plays volleyball so we will also get to watch her play.  This will be a new experience for my kids! (and me)  I look at it as a peek into my future - except I imagine ours will involve club teams instead of school teams.    WE are only going up for Thursday and coming home Friday.

Happy anniversary!

Ben and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage tomorrow.  My how time flies!  My MIL is going to watch the kids so we can go out to dinner.  We will likely go to a nice restaurant downtown.  Ben even made sure to schedule his afternoon so that he can be home early- yay!

Fire!

If you've seen any national news I'm guessing there should have been some snippets about the fires here in souther California.  They are local enough that our air is filled with white ash and the cars look as though they are dusted with a fine layer of snow.  We are doing indoor activities today- off to the mall in a bit.  The fire doubled over Saturday night and  they had voluntary evacuations in 3 towns nearby.  If the fire were to double again like it did, it would get many homes for sure.  It has been burning for nearly two weeks now.  Keep all those folks fighting the fire  and thoughts in potential pathways in your thoughts and prayers.

Our Swim instructor!

I learned from Marjean and my kids have too-  here is an article about her from todays local paper.  She is awsome and I hope they find a new pool for next season.

A pirate says Argh!

We went to my mom's company picnic on Saturday.  Guess the theme!  Lots of fun had by all.

Reason #342 I love my new blog site

Check out the little video widget I was able to make and add (located on the right sidebar).   The pics are from last Thursday at a local beach park.  The kids had a blast.  The song playing is "The Reason" by Hoobastank.  I love the cadence and melody of the song.  The words as they relate to me and my kids?  Well, I would say that this week I have not really felt like a great mom, not even a good mom.  My patience has been sparse and my temper much shorter than the kids are used to.  I've yelled more than I would like to admit.  I am struggling with Evan and his red hot temper and it is getting the best of me more often  than not.  I need to change my attitude and how I deal with him.  I need to be happier and more patient with all of them, for them, for all of us. 

Kidnapping update

It is strongly suspected that this was very premeditated. The bio mom's apartment was cleaned out and empty the day that Danny was to pick her up.  There are various law enforcement agencies involved at this point.  He has had to return to the east coast-  how scary it must be to not know where your child is.  I do not fear so much for her safety- I believe the grandparents (bio moms parents) probably want the kid more than bio mom,  so they will be kind to her I'm sure, but she is only two and must be so confused and scared, and I wonder what ideas they may be filling her head with.  Continue to keep her in your thoughts please.  (and pray that I am right about the grandparent thing- mom had/has? drug problems-  in that case baby girl would be in danger.)

Owen says to me

"Mommy, when I grow up and be a daddy,  I want to have kids."

Need Prayers

and all the good vibes you have to spare....

This little girl was taken by her birth mom on Wednesday.  Her dad has taken care of and raised her since birth, the mom was not interested until lately.  The father is military and  is stationed 3000 miles away from the birth mom.  He was out here (Southern California) for a custody hearing-  his girlfriend is Ben's cousin.  The baby (Marcella- around 2 years old) is such a sweet, quiet little girl.  She knows her dad and Angelina (Ben's cousin) better than anyone.  The birth mom is apparently Navajo or something and they suspect she has gone to New Mexico to a reservation.  As far as I know they have not heard anything at all. 

Please keep this sweet thing in your hearts-  I only had the chance to meet here over the Christmas holiday, and really figured there would be many other opportunities for us to get to know her.  Angelina just moved back east to be with Danny (the dad) last week.  This was supposed to be a new and exiting chapter in her life-  no one thought that this would be the kind of thing she'd have to endure. 

Thanks~
Meesh

Quick recap

of former wiped out post............

Had a great time with Jenny & Maria at the park last Friday-  they are friends of the heart and really something special.  I can hardly wait until technology catches up with Star Trek and we can beam our selves  around for play dates! LOL! 

I finally joined a gym and have been spinning my butt off.  I love the work out- I am so coach driven that it is perfect for me.  Tuesday's class had us on the bikes and on the floor doing ab work (core strength training as Brandon the coach called it).   Today I am sore all over, my legs are heavy with that feeling of over-use and if it were not for the cement block building in my head I'd feel great!

I have had a lovely head cold that I have been ignoring until today.  Today it hit me like a ton of bricks and I was nearly wiped out.  Ben got home around 2:30 and I napped from around 3:30 until 5.  Thank God for small favors.  I was so nearly faded that if he'd have worked a regular day I wonder if I'd have made it!  However I am super excited to go back to the Studio of Pain and spin my butt off again- it is not Brandon, so at least my mid section will be ok!

What else?  Oh my cute little inch worm seems to have gotten itself squashed with stick-  poor guy.  He was growing at an amazing rate too.  Still have a big fat caterpillar chomping lettuce and the chrysalis is still hanging and the other inchworm is in it's semi transparent cocoon. 

That is all my foggy brain can deal with at the moment.  I have to fold some laundry (who doesn't??) and watch a few more episodes of Desperate Housewives.  (I have been doing laundry like a maniac and catching up on all of last seasons DW.)

Maria- I happen to think the picture of you is adorable- it was the only thing close to silly I had. 

Jenny- looky looky here!  (and expect an email soon- I attacked your hug meter thingy 'till it said 1000 today- just couldn't sit long enough to type, but I'd walk by and *hug* you every chance I could. )